31 with my chin up

31. I got some years on me but am proud of them. One thing I have been thinking about is that you can’t change the number of years that you have.  You can lie but that even proves difficult because with age comes forgetfulness. You can only change your circumstances and do things to make you feel happy and secure with the number that you are so blessed to have. I am truly blessed to be here, now. I may have acquired some wrinkles and worry at times that I should have accomplished certain things, or remember that I thought by 30, I would be …………it is irrelevant and living in the past or worrying about the, “I should haves”, prevents us from fully embracing what is to come. As a good friend said, “Soon, my smile will give me wrinkles in all the right places” That is my hope as I continue manifesting happiness and doing things that truly make me smile.

Yesterday, I hopped on a bus that took me passing by the Guatemalan Highlands that I now call home. It made me a bit sad to think of leaving and having only memories to take me past their beauty and that the magical bus rides will have to be summoned from my mind. I am sure that when I am old and grey (or in a few months), I will close my eyes and be looking out the window at freshly planted corn fields covering the highlands and gripping fiercely to the handles on the bus as it races up and down the mountains. The roar of the engine and the blasting of music as the bus squeaks to a stop to pick up the traditionally dressed women with babies slung on their backs will always be with me. It will make me smile and for that I will be thankful.

Of course, life is not without its challenges and confusion. I was so optimistic that the 3-hour bus ride would land me in the right place to easily make a big difference in one person’s life.  I met my Habitat co-worker, Jose, and we took a bus an hour away for a meeting with the local community committee. I have been working on trying to help, Edvin, (a man I met on a Habitat house visit) get water run to his house. Last May, a landslide in Tropical Storm Agatha took his home away. All the research I did, with the help of local friends, told me that it was easily obtainable. I asked for donations from family and friends to help this poor farmer and within days, I had the money. I was overflowing with an appreciation for the genuine desire that people have to help those they don’t even know. It made me feel so optimistic and just blissful. It is hard to put into the words the emotions I felt but if you could have seen my grin, there would be no need for words. I am proud to know such caring folks.

I am sure that eventually the water will flow, but, as with all things in Guatemala, the process is slow and patience must be summoned. I sat in this meeting with Jose, and the 10 local men from the committee and listened to what needed to happen to get the water run. It made me think about how much is going on in all the little pockets in the world and how complicated things can get. Yes, there is an electric pump and well next to Edvin’s house, but as of yet, the project to make it fully functioning is still in process. With time, it will happen and yes we can pay the water rights but the water will not be immediate. Right now, the water is coming from the mountains but the amount is not sufficient for the needs of the community. The projects need to be combined (pump and mountain) and that takes money. The community would like Edvin to be involved in the project, if he has water rights, so we have to see if that is of interest to him.

There is also the thought of just putting a private well and pump on the land of Edvin but the community might frown upon that. I am frustrated that something seemingly so easy is so difficult. I am waiting to see the next step and it may be that we pay the water rights and Edvin joins the project but the water will take time. And what do I tell all the people that made donations? All I can say is thank you for your kindness and I hope you understand that life is not as simple as turning on the faucet sometime. I wish I could send pictures of the water flowing but for now, know that your donations will be used to help when the time comes.

The committee listened to our desires to help and was kind and upfront about the realities. Jose also told them of a new stove project that Habitat is doing to see if their community might be interested. It would provide stoves to families that are still cooking directly on fire without any ventilation. With the new stoves, they use around half as much wood (less work and less deforestation) and respiratory problems are greatly reduced (the leading cause of death here).

They were interested but also made it known what they really need. They need food. With the storms of Agatha last year, they were one of the worst hit areas. With all the landslides, they not only lost their crops and stored food, their farmlands were covered with huge rocks and the nutrients were washed away. They are interested in stoves but who really needs a stove when you don’t have a lot to cook. The government is not helping (the norm here) and the community of around 500 families has food shortages. Overwhelming.

As I rode away in the back of a pickup truck to start the 4 hours back home, I was so confused. I came to help one man but left with a tremendous pain in my heart for all those suffering in the small pockets of the world. I fully understand why God is so big here and why everyone is always thanking God. There is no other hope for most of these people but a thing called God. This place called Guatemala is tough and often brutal but with each day that passes, I see the glow of optimism radiating in the most random of places. You have to keep your chin up so you can see it and not miss out by sadly looking down. We can’t let hopelessness settle in because then, we would have the worst problem of all. Amazing things are happening here, through the hard work and dedication of so many individuals, and I must always believe that change is possible.